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Friday, August 15, 2008

♥ Please, just stop.

Please stop asking me if I want you to do something. Of course I would want you to do whatever would put me first; I'm a selfish person like that. I'm just not going to tell you what to do. If you want to do it, then you decide for yourself. In my mind, you obviously don't want to do something if you have to ask me for my opinion. So thanks, but no thanks, I don't need your chivalry.

&This is my life
11:20 PM
0 commented

♥ What does this mean?

I've been having dreams of us arguing, being mad at each other, ignoring each other, etc., mostly on his part. We don't ever have actual arguments in real life; we might get upset, but never mad at each other, and it always blows over in five minutes; and we never would even consider ignoring each other. I don't know what to make of all this, since I've never had any unpleasant dreams of him before this.
Am I afraid that all of this will happen? Is it a sign that something isn't right? Or am I just overanalyzing and worried for nothing?

&This is my life
4:08 PM
0 commented

Thursday, August 14, 2008

I love Chris, I really do. I have given up so much for him, I have been living everyday for him, I have been doing everything with him in mind. I have pushed everyone, both family and friends, away, to be with him, to spend time with him.
But is it all worth it? My world has turned completely upside-down because of him. That future that we both want, yearn for, is it really going to happen? Or are we just living in our dreams?
I can't possibly give up, I don't know what I'd do without him. I just love him so much, and I'd be a terrible wreck if I had to end it with him. But really... I think I know in my heart of heart, that breaking up is what it eventually comes down to.
And that scares me so much.

&This is my life
12:28 AM
0 commented

Sunday, August 10, 2008

♥ Day 3 of 3

I went to visit Chris at the hospital at around 3 today. His doctor told him that he could be discharged at around 2 but that didn't happen until around 4. I took him home, finally, and he took a shower and then went straight to playing Resident Evil 4. Surprise surprise. x] I was watching him, but I guess I was tired cause I accidentally fell asleep for a few mintues. :x Anyways, we later went to eat dinner at our favorite restaurant of all time, Korea House. Everything I've had their is just absolutely delicious and their sushi is just phenomenal. ^_^ It's not cheap, but it's not terribly expensive, but either way, it's way worth the money. We got back to his house, hung out in the living room with his parents for a little bit (which was probably a first for us :x)attempted to play this Chinese board game called "Go" but it was too confusing to me, so we just laid in bed for about 30 minutes. Then I had to leave, which was terribly sad. I don't like leaving his house, especially in the evening. I would much rather have just stayed in bed with him all night cause it was getting incredibly comfortable. :[
It's been a really amazing three days. It definitely didn't turn out the way we planned, and he's really sad/apologetic about that, but I loved every minute of the time we spent together, and I wouldn't really change any of it. It was perfect, just like him.

&This is my life
12:21 AM
0 commented

Friday, August 8, 2008

♥ Day 2 of 3

Today was our nine month anniversary. We were supposed to go swimming, but Chris left his swimsuit at a friend's house. We were then going to have a water fight, but he left his water guns at that friend's house as well. We then settled with having a water balloon fight. It was all nice and dandy, but he was suffering from shortness of breath and chest pains, so I made him a doctor's appointment and we went, hoping that it would be quick. A doctor visit, a chest x-ray at a different location, and another doctor's visit later, we're at the hospital, checking him in as an ER patient, because he has what's called a pneumothorax, meaning there's a hole in his lung. :\ It sounds bad, but his condition isn't terribly serious, since it's just a small hole. They were originally supposed to stick a tube into his lung so that they could inflate it, since a hole causes the lung to collapse, but the doctor said that since his hole is small, they could wait on it until tomorrow. If it doesn't seem to be getting bigger, they're just going to give him some meds and send him home. We're all hoping that's what happens...
Obviously, today didn't go as planned or hoped, but I frankly don't care or mind. I'm incredibly glad that I was there for him. I love the fact that I'm able to take care of him. It makes me feel like I can be a good girlfriend when I generally feel like I'm not a terribly great one. I'm so thankful for him, for everything he's done for me and has to go through because of me.
Bottom line: everyday we spend together, regardless of what we're doing, of where we are, of how it goes, is an incredible day.

&This is my life
9:04 PM
0 commented

The Author ;

The Music ;

    The Past ;